Come one by:
http://thedailytrailer.blogspot.com
Best,
jeune
Speaking of Don Quixote; The Chronicles of an Old Cowboy, tryin' to start a Foster Home for Native Kids, with Food Stamps and Five Dollars a Day for Feedin' Cows and Fixin' Fence.
Come one by:
http://thedailytrailer.blogspot.com
Best,
jeune
Cool, breezy with a few sprinkles; spent most a the day, collecting myself. Made a little progress on the boys run. See if I can't give it a go today, finish the run, get out and find the bunch; check their tank, give 'em a scratch. (And, fix the truck, now I got the part!)
Comin' up blustery today; september's like that.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, it is coolin' off, evenings special. Did have some clouds build up and I could see some storms to the south, but basically another blank. Who knows, different as things are, maybe we'll get some fall out from this depression, that's a fancy word for a storm, headin' for Texas. More crossed fingers.
Woke up this mornin' thinkin' about "try". My heart teacher, once, talked about his commitment, always put his best foot forward. This was some years back, but it always takes me some, catch on. And, I don't wanta pretend I fully understand, but at least I'm thinkin'.
I remember back when I was trimmin' hooves, here local and noticin', that if I got lazy and settled, regular, for "o.k.", when a situation came up, where I really wanted to do a good job, it wasn't easy or, necessarily successful. It really hit me that I might need to up my "try"; maybe nobody else knew, or noticed, but I did.
Now, trimmin' hooves is one thing and I never really aspired to work on high dollar horses or make a real career like that, it was just a way to pay the bills, spend time with horses and help my neighbors. Now, with my eyesight failin' and my back pretty cranky, mostly I just keep my rescues cleaned up. But, there's still life ta live and a planet could use all kinda help and I'm rememberin' that consideration. Whatever's worth doin', it really might, be worth doin' well.
Maybe, it'll never make a difference to anybody else, but it could become a part a me. And, even though we don't often think of life in terms of "opportunity", I do believe there is one; a real relationship! And, if that's true, I could really benefit from an attitude like that. I believe we're full of try, just like horses show me all the time, but until and unless we use it, it just kinda sleeps there inside us and we "fantacize", "oh, ya, when the situation arises, boy will I try!". Reality might be, unless we exercise our try, even when the situation arises and we really want to, we might not be very good at it.
I sure think about funny stuff, but, by and large, it does keep me outta trouble.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
And, yup hard ta believe; made it all the way to September and not one downpour. Same, same; big black clouds, heavy winds and a sprinkle.
Made a little progress on the boys run; whackin' sage, make a path, role out the horse fence. Gettin' excited ta see 'em out grazin' a little, even if it's just a few weeks.
Now, I gotta get jumpin' try to catch up on the south fences, get the bunch down yonder, make way for the hunters and re-post; always amazin' how no trespassin' signs, tend ta disappear.
Biggest question for me, bringin' the internal quiet with me as things pick up; I really did have quite a spell, this summer, with my pilgrimmage and all, recouperatin' and takin' a little extra quiet. Don't wanta leave it behind; too sweet.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, it is a bit cooler and the clouds are gatherin' but no rain. There is a nice flow from the south and it is hazy; keep our fingers crossed.
Rememberin' one of old Tom's favorite sayin's yesterday; "observe, remember and compare". Laughin' with a friend, on how, so many folks have come along and got so accomplished, brought horsemanship to a whole another level and how, likely, I'm better fit for "special ed"; ya know the kids that aren't pickin' up, like the others and might need more attention. I can't get passed the observe part.
Good news, similar conversation with another friend, if learnin' is my passion, I got no worries; what ever I do, no matter how "slow", I'm bound ta learn. And, there my deep affection for old Tom and another of my favorite stories; someone once asked Tom how come he'd so seldom take money for workin' horses, his reply, "if they ain't payin' me, they can't fire me!".
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
P.S. Thanks to Judy Reynolds for the photo.
Well, it's milder and there was a show of clouds, here and there, off in the distance, some wind, but no rain.
Guess, I'm takin' this time, these days, like the famous, "window of opportunity"; make hay while the sun shines, etc. I just found it so inspirin', see my heart teacher, there, those weeks back, rather than do too much, I'm more inclined to take advantage of the quiet, "lonely time", and the pull, ask for elevation. I know it's real and with elevation vision improves. When you can see, doin' gets easier and more meanin' full. It's really a simple propositon and maybe, it's a function of age; more you understand the value of time, more you want to make it count.
So, I'm makin' some efforts, spend time with the boys, work on the fencin', visit with "the bunch", but largely, climbin'. It's so real. It makes all the sense and every day I feel more clear; there is meaning and it means everything.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
More showers, mostly thunder and lightnin'; haul another tub for the wild bunch. Haven't seen 'em in two or three days, maybe more; flies, I reckon'. They probably up in the woods, gettin' away from the flies and mosquitoes, cropped up with the rain.
See, if I can't get after that run for the boys, get them some grass, 'fore the wild bunch comes back in with the hunters showin' up and all.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Few more showers and the grass is greenin'; tanks are gettin' mushy, but, save one 12 inch puddle, in one tank, nothin' to write home for.
And, this cowboy, sure could use an overhaul; seems the smallest event, like 250 bales a hay and it takes him a week, get back on track. Might have ta reconsider some a my lesser habits, I developed, livin' out here; paddin' the edges with caffeine and nicotine. That'd be a good thing.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Yes, it is. Just had time fer coffee yesterday, when the hay wagon showed up; 250 bales later, a wee bowl a instant oatmeal and young Brandon Johnson, my camera friend from the book, pulled up to the gate. Two years since we had a chance ta visit.
And, visit we did; dark 'fore he pulled out and 'tween conversations and pictures, we'd hiked most up to the north end, try to find the horses, and back. Well, I was so tuckered, time he left, I made it far as the fridge, found 1/2 a can a beans, a piece a cheese and an oatmeal cookie, called it good enough!
So, this is why it's afternoon and I'm just gettin' round to "good mornin'".
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, almost afternoon, truthful. Another fair shower, last night; ain't got out to check the ponds. And, yup, I'm behind fer all my bridge buildin'; see if I can get this show on the road. But, the critters are fed and final, the cowboy.
And, winters, just around the corner; might not seems so, August. But, a week or two and huntin's afoot; hop, skip and a jump and there'll be turkey on the table and a fire in the stove.
Got a load a hay comin', tomorrow; see if I can't give the barn a lick and a promise, for the truck pulls in. And, god willin', it won't rain tonight, sure hope the clouds ain't listenin', otherwise that trailer'll bury the hubs right in front and we'll be packin' 'fore we're stackin'. Oh, well, a bad day stackin' hay, beats a good day at the office!
Have a great one!
Best,
jeune
Well, back to thunder and lightin' off in the distance; ponds are muddy with a few puddles, but we get another and they just might start ta fill.
Made a nice connection with some folks from South Dakota; kinda miraculous. Might have ta go visit; horse lovers and community advocates. See what happens.
Otherwise, gotta clean up, shape up, catch up with my ponies; kinda hopin' they'll be patient with me. Hopefully, some a this'll shape up and we'll all get to spend more time together; to borrow Uncle Albert's expression, "expand our circle of compassion!".
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, it rained; not a real gully washer like the monsoon's, but a good rain. Couple a hours, just before dark and then it picked up again, probably midnight and kept at it, quite some; can't wait ta see if the tanks, ponds, soaked it all up, or actually filled some. Probably shouldn't get too excited, some a the cracks, develop when it's that dry, look like they mighta gone clear to China.
Otherwise, cleaned out the wood stove, check fer mice, and fired it up, last night; come off quite cool with all that rain. Helps dry out the canvas too. Made a good pot a rice and beans. Slept pretty good, though it was one a those "long conversation" nights. Often times, when I'm puzzlin' on what I could do, make a difference, sleep's fit with conversation; back and forth, possibilities, apparent realities, options, factors. Quite amazin'; kindness and all the ways it shows up, given a chance.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, storms come in every which way, and it did rain for an hour or so, gentle. Every little bit helps, but a whole different way a doin' things; no doubt about it.
And, come ta think of it, I could see a parallel in my own life. There's an old chineses fella, practiced a certain kinda exercise; supposed ta have a very beneficial impact on yer health and well bein'. He once said,"I was blessed with poor health; I had no choice but to practice.". Maybe, in my life it's kinda similar; whatever reason, I grew up so curious, there just wasn't much doubt, me needin' miracles in my life. And now, gettin' older, maybe I'm startin' ta see, it's not the big downpour ones that matter the most; gettin' way off track and countin' on a thunder bolt straighten me out. But, the little regular, almost invisible ones, I need everyday; not so dramatic, but just as miraculous.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Fine turn of the seasons; just a wee bit cooler, a few lingering clouds to the east, hint of the moisture, rain that fell nearby. Same pattern, unfortunately, afternoon; storms, black clouds, wind and rain, but none save a sprinkle, makin' it here.
Got to say, it is amazin', though; on goin' conversation, born of the weather's conviction, things must be done, just so. Been like that, all my life; always admired them that had a certain understanding and stuck to it. No doubt, compromise is vital, in some situations, but sometimes, clarity stands all alone and god bless them, got the courage stand with it when they know it. Fascinatin' question, no?
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Practically, evening! Sure am havin' trouble gettin' my feet back under me, since my adventure in "public Transportation". Completely changed my life, on the Heart side, but sure took a bite on the Body side. Tellin' someone the other day, "feel like I was roped and drug!". Oh, well, the things we do for Love.
And, truthfully, I might not mind so much, but the poor ponies wonderin' what's got into me; daylight comes and goes and I barely make it out and back, throw a flake. Try another walk this evening, see the wild bunch, give 'em a scratch. Like an old lawn mower, I suppose, sooner or later, it'll fire. Patience.
Anyway, absent the content on my end, I'll promote another fella I run across this mornin' and one fantastic piece he put together:
<http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2011/08/14>
Have a nice evenin'.
Best,
jeune
I'll keep ya appraised a developments!
Best,
jeune
Yup, more a the same; black clouds, thunder, lightnin', wind and a sprinkle. I mentioned, once, ignorin' the weather, try to get it's attention, but I kinda think it's the other way around; I sure am thinkin' about "it". So, curious, it wants to rain everywhere but here. Now, there's a relationship I ain't never gonna fit in a drawer; not anytime soon.
Talked about Big, yesterday, and his sore feet. Got thinkin' about it later. I had talked to the vet, several times about things I might could do, help him out. The vet mentioned, once a month, givin' him some "bute", horse aspirin', break the cycle of pain and swellin', which I tried. Thing is, no matter how I try ta hide it, sweet feed, honey, applesauce, Big seemed ta know what I was up to and refused the whole notion. And, it wasn't just his protestin', bobbin' his head, holdin' it way up high, puttin' it way down low, turnin' it way around the other side, ya know, there's ways a dealin' with that, but when I stopped and thought about it and what he was tryin' ta say, beyond the easy assumptions, soul ta soul, there was somethin' about respect for him, as his own self, made me re-consider, "ya know, could be that would help, but maybe there's somethin' even more important ta him, than his feet, much as they may hurt.".
As I mentioned, Big was a high dollar roper and judgin' by his extremely sweet nature, likely give himself to it wholeheart; believin' the best about his human handlers and lovin' the chance ta do what he was good at, the crowds cheerin' him on. When trouble appeared, swellin' in his ankles from all the poundin', slammin' on the breaks, hard rodeo grounds, day after day, jerkin' calves, no doubt, the "bute" came out, dull the pain; one more go, another "purse" for the owner.
When I found him, I was trimmin' hooves for a local rancher, he'd been left there by the ambitious roper, "good fer nothin'"! I was told not ta bother with him, he'd be goin' to the meat market. I asked, if I come up with the "meat money", if I could take him home. The rancher gave me a curious look, suspectin' I suppose, I might be "one a them bleedin'heart liberals", but, 25 cents a pound, I come back with my trailer and home with Big.
Big mighta believed in somethin', ended up hurtin' him pretty bad and maybe more his heart than his feet. So, much as we love each other and much as I hate ta see him suffer, maybe there's somethin' even bigger, he'd rather face, head on. So, even "bute", with all it's "benefit", for me ta insist, boy, I think I'd be overlookin' somethin' very, very big. And, when I find him out in the middle, all by himself and he comes outta that zone, gives me a look, a sniff and a nibble on my chaps, stands there for a scratch and a rub, maybe that's all the "bute" we need.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Same, same; heck of a storm, comin' right up the valley from the southwest. Big black cloud, wall of water, thunder, lightin' and heavy wind. Got two or three miles away and broke up. We did get some sprinkles. Got ta smile and what? What do ya call it, when the weather, a loved one, just keeps performin' variations on a theme that seems quite contrary and ya know there's a conversation in there somewhere, but ya don't have a clue where it starts.
Anyway, made it to the dentist; hopin' he might be able ta plug and salvage my last bottom row "chomper". No, such luck. Upside, I suppose, I'm a little lighter; one tooth less ta pack around. But, I can't say I'm feelin' it yet; all the drugs they pump inta a fella, get 'er done, feel more like I'm packin' an extra sack a potatoes this mornin'. Like, the rain, I suppose, wait; it'll come around.
Otherwise, woke up thinkin' about history and war; actually one particular scene, from a hundred movies we've probably seen. It's the one where there's some kinda disaster comin' or goin' or in progress and there's, maybe, a mom and a child and maybe she's packin' up the child send 'em some place safe. The characters may vary, but the story's the same. They're hurryin', it's a very difficult situation, heart wrenchin', but the gist of it is and I can remember, word for word, one such film, "brace up", no time for feelin'.
Play it over, and over, and over; before movies, books, and before books, stories. In, other words, generations of recollection. Then, add all the modern technology, media, marketin' and technicolor mythology of the "unfeelin'" hero, and all the "money" to be made, sellin' the "gear" and the wars, keep validatin' the myth. Then, ask yer self, if there's really a big mystery, as ta how and why we've gotten so far away from ourselves. Or, how we come up with the craziest of ideas and "think" they are most reasonable; like another war.
I suppose, if we haven't lately, that we might go visit a mom with a new born child and consider for a moment, that young child might be way smarter than most of us "adults". Milk, a warm blanket, a good nap, gazin' into the eyes a the mom; completely magical. That kid is not likely ta spend any time lookin' up therapists in the yellow pages, or figurin' if he just had a little more money, life would be much better.
I just gotta ask myself, which makes more sense; ta brace up, harden myself against the storm, get numb with all the unavoidable math, that no matter how much I have it will never be enough, 'cause I can't feel anything! Or, ta dare and turn around, despite all the "hype" and all the "propaganda" and appreciate, one moment of my life.
That kinda courage, might not make great drama, but it just might "work" in the long run! I remember takin' a dive off a really big snow fort, we'd built in the school yard, when I was five or six. We were playin' cowboys and indians, I think, '50's, I was on top and one a the indians had clearly got a straight clear shot and my "sweetheart", Cindy, I think her name was, was watchin'. Well, no problem; I'd seen it on TV. Off I went head first on the ice below. I'd really have to say, it was spectacular, but, honestly, it didn't feel very good.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, we sure got close; plenty a wind and big black clouds, comin' right at us, outta the northeast. I was rootin' and it was comin', then it just stalled and broke up; couldn't have been more than three-four miles away. Never shoulda roled up the windows on the truck! Did get a sprinkle though. Anyway, unload the hay, put the tank back in the truck, haul another tank out ta the wild bunch.
Life is amazin'! Things we need, Earth special, for things ta grow; all kind a critters, countin' on other critters, water, grass, plants and trees. And, a human; me, you! So far, so many of us, we have the basics; food, water, shelter, etc., but even with the horses, I can see there's a sense of more. Once a horse gets a taste of learnin' , co-operatin' with a human, dancin', it's really plain, they like it and wouldn't mind more, special if they're introduced artful and easy.
With my older horses, been through some hard times, issues with humans "imposin'" stuff with a heavy hand, they might have some reservations, but the young ones, been loose most a their days, they see me comin' and they just line up, waitin' their turn; a visit, a scratch, a little eye ta eye and a sniff. And, they stand and watch, fascinated, if I start ta pick up their feet or rub a soft rope; get 'em accustomed. It sure makes me smile.
So, there's the water, Earth needs, so stuff can grow; trade nutrients and reach for the sun. Then ya start ta get on toward the human and still, there's somethin' wants ta grow; reach for the light, even when our basic needs are met.
Talkin' to a friend a mine, the other day, 'bout lightnin' and groundin' rods; fascinatin' thing! There is a way, groundin' a piece a metal and raisin' it up, attract all that "juice" them storms can make and drawin' it inta the earth. And, I gotta say, sure feelin' that pull in my life, understand and practice that science. Like the Earth might feel a prayer for water and maybe She's got ways of romancin' a storm, that I could feel a prayer in my life, and romance that water and light (nin'); ground myself and draw in that "juice", let's me grow, understand, aspire ta that lovin' and learnin', turns this life from survival to "thrival"! (If that ain't a word, it should be.)
Maybe, it's like a rain dance and drums. Maybe it's like monks in the mountains, chantin'; candles and incense. Maybe, it's like a congregation in a small church, makin' "a joyful noise". But, ya, me too, I want whatever that storm, that power, Creator has ta offer, lift me up; take another step in my life, live the promise of the rainbow. Alive, with light and color; dancin', if only for a moment, cross the face of the Earth. Grateful; no regrets.
Too many, unlikely souls, sang the unlikely song, too many times and too many places, me ta truly consider, "can't be done!". That'd be no more, than one more, fox, given up, tellin' himself, "those grapes were likely sour!".
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, gotta hurry of this mornin'; help a neighbor move some hay. And, the "partners", own the ranch I mind, are on the way and I still got a little more "tidyup" ta go. But I sure do enjoy sayin' "good mornin'" and passin' on a little of the early mornin' air, here, middle a nowhere, New Mexico.
So, maybe what I'll do is go move the hay, breath a little a that air, then come back and tel ya 'bout it; that way everybody gets a fair shake, even if I get 'er out a little late ta day....
There, got the hay moved and still got a minute, fingers crossed, 'fore "the partners" come. Anyway, funny, thing rushin' around; I don't do that often. Generally, just when it got somethin' ta do with folks from town, or there's a horse in trouble. Otherwise, out here, pretty much, I just try and keep a pace, balanced with the best attitude I can muster. A) Finish one job and there's always another waitin'. B) A good attitude is the best friend ya could ever have; if it's just one job to the next, pretty much 7/7/365, ya better enjoy what yer doin', cause it's all ya got. And, C) If yer happy, ya notice more and that can keep ya out of one heap a trouble; a good idea when ther's no help fer miles.
Ol' Tom, my horse mentor, he used ta say, speakin' of horse work, "observe, remember and compare"; helps ya get more accurate with the horses and the "get a long" smoother. And, I'd have ta say, that's another part a the "happiness" factor; make it a priority, not only do ya notice more around yerself and avoid trouble, but ya notice more about yer inside and how happiness works. Ya might get better at that, too. Now, that's a deal, no?
Reminds me, hearin' about this little country, might be Bhutan, in the Himalaya; a strong hold of the early Buddhist Faith. Well, there kinda progressive in their thinkin' and, so they come up with a different approach ta measure their progress; they call it the "GNHI". 'Stead of the Gross Nation Production Index, they use the Gross National Happiness Index. Genius!
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, a few more showers, keep the grass a comin' and the temps a mild. Had ta get up middle a the night, neighbor left his gate open; his horse come up ta see the mustang boys. Baulin' and squalin', me runnin' around in my pajamas and boots, corralin' horses, leadin' the neighbors horse on home. Some folks want critters, but don't pay much attention to the little stuff, makes all the difference; one screw up with horses and someone ends up dead or maimed and done is done! This little touch of reality, sure can seem like an "endangered specie" these days and a course, I gotta consider "the three fingers pointin' at me"; everythin' happens for reason.
My Heart Teacher talks a lot 'bout clarity and once I got back ta my bunk, it occurred ta me, how fine the line 'tween "order and chaos" and how much, in my own life, I forget: "It's a gift, too!". There I was, other day, talkin' 'bout John Wayne and the delusion of the "self made man", then, last night reminded, nobody hurt, "yup, me, too!". How much do I forget? Whatever harmony, whatever "function" there may be in my life, how much do I, slowly, take credit and overlook the obvious; it never had to work so well! I remember him sayin', " Can you imagine, for one moment, what this world would be like, without the gift of kindness?". And, I suppose, I could consider the kindness, 'tween us humans, but what about the kindness in our lives; that the sun comes up, there is air ta breath and despite all our forgetfulness things do work? Boy, I could sure, take a turn in my life; maybe a little more humility, maybe a little more gratitude. It'd only be right, no?
So many gifts, everyday, we plumb forget; walkin' around like "we did it". I suppose, it might be one a those "defense mechanisms"; we can be so scared a feelin' things, we're plumb terrified a the gratitude we might feel, if we really took a look.
So, another gift; a glimpse. And, maybe, if everything does happen for a reason, this glimpse can turn into another small change in my life. As, my horse mentor once said, "it's not one big change, makes all the difference. It's a lot of little ones!".
Have a great day!
Best
jeune
P.S. Had ta consider another kindness; another day! Another chance, make another turn.
Well, more showers; still rootin' for the "gully washers". Haulin' water don't take much, but the gas gauge on the ol' ranch truck sure knows "south" if nothin' else. Upside, even the showers, sure cool things off and that's a blessin', sure.
I'm rememberin' the last months of drivin' truck, back when. It'd been some years and it'd been good, if taxin'; it's a simple life, livin' in a truck. Plenty a time ta be nobody; eatin', sleepin' drivin', never seein' or talkin' to anybody for days. But, toward the end, I sure was wishin' for a change; maybe a way, join my heart and my work, in a more meanin' full way. And, I'd have ta say, it's kinda similar these days.
I been workin' horses, trimmin' hooves, tendin' cows out here, some ten years, but sure wishin' I could find a way, spend more time with the horses and steer the whole show ta somethin' larger, somethin' positive. Can't even hardly listen to the news; everybody carryin' on like things ain't serious, quarrellin' over ideas and narrow minded interest. Seems ta me, there are so many real problems could use our full and combined effort, we're really shootin' ourselves in the foot. That fella' "fiddled" while Rome burned, easy point a finger, but sometimes I consider, how easy it can be, not ta get the picture; like one a those dreams, where ya know somethin's wrong and ya wanta help, but, try as ya might, ya just can't move quicker than a crawl.
Upside, back when I was drivin', feelin' that prayer, take a step, there was an answer and my life did take a turn for the better; more meanin' full. So, once again, I got ta trust; feel the longin' and watch for the door. WHEN, (not if) it opens, be ready ta move! That's the way it's always been for me. I try, I feel, I look, I see, but the fulfillment, it's always a gift. Maybe, custom, just for me; save me from delusion, beleivin' "I" did it. Nope, it is a gift, like life, only one got the power ta give it! And, that's one sweet understandin'; ol' John Wayne mighta wanted everybody believe "he was it!", but try as he may have, when life had give him his last breath, "it" or not, weren't nothin' he could do. That's a heavy load and, likely a rude awakenin'.
Anyway, so many kindness, these days, just gotta believe, there's a way and a time; just keep my eye on the door, appreciate the delay, so I appreciate the moment.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, a fair shower, afternoon; sprinkles in the evenin'. Them poor old thunderstorms, all wind and promise, but they must be gettin' old like me; kinda short on production. Can't hold that against 'em. If it's true, as they say, "we're all connected", well, so many of us humans, now, can't remember who we are and what's important, how we gonna blame a thunderstorm, havin' trouble rememberin' who they are and how ta rain?
It's the "mirror thing"! And, I sure appreciate it. So, hard some times, get a fix on where we are and where we're goin', and us humans do have a way of comin' up with "great campaigns", defeat some enemy, over there; clearly the cause of all our misfortunes. (?) I wonder if Creator, in his/her wisdom, didn't see it comin' and do his/her best, put mirrors, all over, hopin' we'd catch a glimpse ourselves, now and then, ask a question.
I do believe, this life is a gift amd there is "treasure" to be had. But, not the famous "all that glitters". The most precious moments of my life, are the ones, I feel I'm movin'; goin' where I need ta go. A value, in my heart, that's growin', simple and true to itself; gratitude for what always was and re-memberance. I wonder if that word didn't really have an inspired beginnin'. Member, to belong. Re, again. Like someone knew there was "a whole" and we do belong and are apt to forget.
So, mirrors would be good. When we "'fore get", or get ahead of ourselves, thinkin' of all we "need" ta be happy; crazed with lack. To maybe catch a glimpse of our face and consider if that's really "us"; who we'd hope ta be.
Don't know if it ever happened to you, but I know there've been times, when I got off on somethin' and how it all "should be", quite posessed and noticed a dog or a horse lookin' at me, quite amazed; almost embarrassed. I remember, as a child, on occasion, lookin' at an elder similarly posessed, with disbelief, only ta find myself threatened with "extermination"; as they say out here, "don't you dare look at me in that tone a voice!".
So, I suggest, not ta go breakin' mirrors, figurin' our problems, thus removed, but, on the contrary, blessem' and give thanks for the kindness, put 'em there; we might consider how we really look and where we'd really like ta go.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, mild and still, so far. Chance a showers they say, but that's pretty much a refrain, this time a year; "isolated thunderstorms". If nobody gets any, the weathermen are cool. If somebody gets one, they're safe; genius!
I know I'm bein' a little cynical, but more time ya spend out here, more straight talk means and double talk stands out. And, I don't wanta put myself above nobody; I'm just as vulnerable to the speed and hype of the mainstream, as the next fella; just good fortune, someone called it to my attention, horse teachers, heart teachers, allowed me the question, "is that what ya want?".
Went ta bed last night, feelin' kinda overwhelmed; events, circumstances, gettin' older, wonderin' how ta go forward, take care a my critters. Often, it occurs, goin' ta bed with a question, a worry, knowin' inside, life's full a wisdom and care and just, maybe it'll talk to me. Well, sure enough, woke up, feelin' like a new day had dawned! Nothin' changed; same situation, same age. But, sure, somehow, that, if, I stick with the "present", and trust, present in a single step, there is always a way.
But, sure, somehow, that, if, I stick with the "present", and trust, present in a single step, there is always a way.
But, sure, somehow, that, if, I stick with the "present", and trust, present in a single step, there is always a way.
I remember my heart teacher once sayin' how "now" is the doorway to the infinite. To me, he was indicatin' that there's no limit to how "present" we can be. And, I gotta say, every time I consider another step, another "let go", acceptance, that this is where hope lives, more positive, more hope full, life appears; no apparent reason.
And, the best part, I don't have ta be anybody but me; I don't have ta double talk myself. I can trust, that I, too, am just fine. I need improvin', well sure! But, it's all included, "standard", in the deal called "now"; called "present".
Boundless innovation, I heard a friend, once say. Life keeps telling me, so!
Have a great day.
Best,
jeune
Well, made it to the dentist; eighty miles there and back. Drove to the post office, 10 miles, got a ride from a horse owner friend, I trade with, she had ta do her laundry. All went really well; I read her some a these stories along the way, got right in on a cancelled appointment; emergency, for which, I am generally taken, first glance, no questions. Great new doctor, funny and kind, very thorough; great, great, great, great, grandson of an old Basque Sheepherder, came over in the early 1800's, run sheep in the mountains north a Santa Fe. Wink and a smile with the bill; nothin' on it 'cept one "removal", despite all the time and trouble, x-ray and exam. $20! Felt so rich and famous, I bought lunch for me and my friend; two, one dollar, green chile, double cheese burgers and a one dollar hot fudge sunday, we split. Mac Donald's may be a lotta things, but those cheeseburgers are soft and affordable. Listened to "Rusty, the three legged horse", on the way home; had a good laugh at our cryin'. Pretty fine for a trip to the dentist. And, so, back to "The Angels".
Well, with Ricardo back in the house, I surveyed the yard, a little more thoughtful. Spotted Tubby, as far as he could get from the discussion, sensin', no doubt, all was not well in "Denmark"; his butt in the corner of the yard, ears at full attention, eyes wide. I picked my way over, still stockin' foot; give him a hug and a rub. Wasn't his fault, he'd got buddied up with a "daft" old cowboy and we'd make it right, move on ta "greener pastures".
I went back in the house, got my boots, hat and vest, and headed out; see if I couldn't get 'er back on track, 'fore Ricardo come out a the bathroom, where I imagined he'd gone, wash off the first a the mornin'. I got a halter, gathered up Mr. Tubbs, lead him outta the yard and tied him to the back a the truck, parked there, top a this hill, 50 mile view, every which way; west to the Jemez Mountains , north to the Taos Pueblo, east to the Sangre de Cristo and south to the Manzano's. Got a bucket give him a drink and put a couple a flakes a hay on the tailgate. Life was good, hay was good and he nosed in, takin' a big bite, liftin' his nose and shakin' the hay at the sky, one eye on me, just ta make sure "happy" was alright.
Well, it'd been about an hour and the yard was startin' ta look fairly proper. I'd found a shovel, a rake and a broom, scooped the poop and added it to the compost pile around the side a the house. Cleaned up the broken flower pot and swept the patio, set the pieces by the trash, laid the broken walkway light on a table under the patio, case it might be fixed, raked the grasses and paths and figured that was about all I could do; what was ate, was ate and it'd just have ta grow back.
"Jon, you want some breakfast?", a voice rose from the front door. I'd called myself "jon" when I drove truck, as it seemed, as invisible as I was, gratefully lost in the faceless crowd of truck drivers, highways and truckstops; six or seven years, a bust, no more, head, shoulders and a hat, set up in the windows of a large truck. Never really present for more than the time it took ta pass one on the road or aisle of the mall, truckstops had become; never seein' or talkin' to the same person twice fer months at a time. I was hungry, that "milk and cookie" 'bout all I'd had, since pretty much, same time yesterday. I headed for the house, a little timid, but reassured some by the seemin'ly casual tone a the invitation. Ricardo met me with a smile, one hand on the door, the other a welcomin' curve, back toward the kitchen, "come on in, there's a plate in the kitchen.". I took off my hat and headed that a way. There were two places set, on the marble island, middle a the kitchen, a nice old spanish stool in fronta each. Beans, eggs, potatoes and chorizo, a hot Mexican sausage, a glass a water, cloth napkins, a basket a hot tortillas in the middle, surrounded by a butter dish, hot chilli jelly and cream. Ricardo did come from one a the oldest families in New Mexico, least on the European side, and one thing folks figured, it seems, over the years, hard as it was in the early days, however ya might disagree and however a day shaped up, everybody gotta eat. And even, as things got "civilized", families established, fortunes improved, kids got education, some a that appreciation, endured, in the very bones of the children, of the children, of the children, a some a the first folks that came here from Spain, all those years ago, walkin' the "King's Road" north outta Mexico, with little but hope.
More man~ana, have a great day!
Best,
jeune
More showers, cool and hazy this mornin'. Accordin' to the news, thunderstorms are linin' up. See, what happens; so, far they been goin' every way but here. Then I can start complainin' 'bout mosquitoes.
"Jesus!". My eyes popped open. Took me a while, figure where I was and remember, how and why I got there, and I few seconds unstack my bones, as they had pretty much lay there all night just the way I left 'em, when I give up. I did get 'em movin', sat up give my face a rub and hustled toward the big oak door I'd come in the night before; out onto the patio, and into the mornin' sun. Ricardo, sensin' my arrival, turned, tippin' his head from the sun, thunder and lightin' in his eyes, "there's a horse in my dam garden!". I didn't exactly know where ta start, but lookin' around, what had appeared a simple meadow last night, now revealed itself a finely manicured "natural landscape", meticulously planned and painstakin'ly executed. And, I could see, ol' Tubby hadn't been to careful; disrespectful piles a poop, here and there, a walkway lattern in pieces at my feet, a broken flower pot on the patio, dirt and remains of some flowers strewn about, some grasses mashed where he'd lay down, some shrubs munched down ta stems. It didn't look good. Ricardo, still starin' at me, now had a look a worry and wonder in his eyes, as my gaze returned ta his; a question as to whether I was even the same fella, he'd met a few years back, the fairly tidy, younger truck driver, he'd encountered there at our friend's in Albuquerque. And, not hard ta figure; a few more years drivin', some heart trouble, a year up in Utah, ridin' in the mountains and the desert, a few tumbles, here and there, bucked off or drug, mis apprehendin' a horse or two. And, now, early mornin', not very fresh, clothes all wrinkled and misarranged, socks half on, maybe a day or two since I shaved or taken a bath, and him, likely, down wind, gettin' the full effect.
Well, all I could do was start apologizin' and consider, where I hadn't spoken ta him directly, 'fore I arrived, we mighta got some crossed wires. Ricardo, neither, too sure, exactly where ta start, just headed for the house; a civilized fella', I guess he figured he might collect himself, freshen up, cool off and try the mornin' again later.
Gotta go to the dentist! Tooth trouble. Pick'er up tomorrow.
Have a Great Day!
Best,
jeune
And, a few more showers. The storms just ain't quite gettin' it, leastwise, here local. They're shapin' up and the squalls they come, but so far just showers; keep our fingers crossed.
And, speakin' a crossed fingers, I guess I done some, over the years. Toward the end a that year, up there in Utah, I headed back to New Mexico; give my own go with the young horses. I'd saved a buck and bought a pickup, for $100. Tore it apart, evenin's and put it back together. Found an old stock rack for my horse, a cage like deal, slips in the back a the pickup, borrowed a saddle from a friend, loaded up the young Ute Mustang, Ben and I had found and headed South, maybe $100 in my pocket; roughly enough ta get there and, maybe, eat for a couple a days. No worries.
No way, I was really ready, take on the colts a New Mexico, not ta mention the owners; a whole slice a the deal I did not yet appreciate. But, both Ray and Tom, had confessed, on more than one occasion, that really it was the horse that taught 'em. And, I'd found their words, solid. I'd found my bridge 'tween the inner and outter; what I knew in my heart and what I could live in my life and that was that!
And, we made it! Tubby, my Ute mustang, alternated 'tween the grass I'd put up front by the wind break I'd fashioned, over the cab and lookin' round, over the top at the world flyin' by. Occasionally, whinnyin' at some horses pastured along the way. Distress or bliss over his curious situation, sailin' along in the bed a that old pickup, most likely a toss up, or some combination. But, we made it.
I'd been a long day, some 400 miles, I figure, time we pulled in to the drive of an elegant Santa Fe home, on the edge a town. Good friend of a good friend; artist woman I'd met in Albuquerque, some years back, had asked this friend if I might pass a night or two, while I looked for work. I'd met him, also, back then and we'd had a pleasant conversation or two. Handsome young fella, very political, worked with the social services, and since had moved on up into circles of influence. I'd been told, he wouldn't be home and to make myself so, he, returnin' late that night. I can't remember, for sure, if the question of a horse, had come up.
Anyway, I was beat and Tubby, needed out; whether it was bliss or distress, comin' down, he'd had enough. The yard was fenced and in the wanin' light, appeared quite natural, like a nice small New Mexico pasture. I backed him off a the truck onto a nearby ditch bank that come pretty close ta meetin' the tail gate I'd lowered. I turned him loose in the yard, give him a flake and a drink and found my way into this beautiful adobe house; latterns lightin' the walk, old polished tile leadin from the patio in through a large oak and glass door. I further, found my way into the this gently sparklin' kitchen, full of every convenience, discreetly tucked in to the, seemingly seamless world of counter and cabinet. I found a note, next to some milk and cookies he'd left out, all tightly wrapped in plastic; "welcome, see you in the mornin; there's a mattress on the floor in the livin' room". I gladly accepted, milk and cookie and found my way in to the livin' room; elegant sofas, glass coffee table, the same fine polished tile and a large fireplace, old river rock, stacked to the ceilin', where it met these large varnished pine poles fannin' out like the spokes of an old wagon wheel, slopin' down to the back wall, decorated with a few, fine old spanish paintin's. It was somethin', but I was wooped. I threw my hat on a nearby chair, pulled off my boots and vest, didn't even think a gettin' in bed, pretty as it was; fine sheets and blanket, wrapped around a nice mattress, sittin' on a beautiful navajo rug, like a work of art. And, that was it; jeans and all. Hot and sticky, smellin' a horse, there I slept, ' till dawn.
Have a good evevin'!
Best,
jeune
Well, a few more showers. Still waitin' for the "gully washers" but every little shower's a welcome deal. And, without further ado, back to the angels.
There was another side to the notion of ranch work and by association, horses, and that was money. I'd been payin' off some debt, there livin' in the truck and on occasion, chippin' in, help my friend Mr. Anand, with repairs, or somethin' he really needed, there around the house. But, even with the insurance from the truck company, I now had another couple a thousand I had ta pay off, on my hospital bill. So, ranch work, worked; not only was it somethin' I'd known as a youngster and a chance get back with horses, but, it generally comes with a bunk and meals. Anywhere around a town, ya gotta come up with "first month, last month and deposit", if ya want a roof, not ta mention a job or meals. And, when ya got none, that's a tall order.
Anyway, that old friend from Utah did take me on fer shovelin' pens and introduced me to a world of horsemen and women, includin' Ray Hunt; probably one a the most famous horsemen of the 20th century, this side a the pond, second only, maybe, to his mentor, Tom Dorrance, inspiration to "The Horse Whisperer". It was huge. First time I got ta see Ray workin', I knew I'd found "my bridge".
There it was, plain as day; a regular guy, talkin' and walkin', workin' with the horses, natural as a mom gettin' her kids ready for school. All the comfort. All the familiarity. All the ease. All the affection hidden in every gesture. Knowin', where they had ta go and what each one needed ta get there, comfortable. I'd heard a bunch of his quotes and sayin's but this was the fact a the work and the love from which it came, honed over tens a years, hundreds a towns, thousands a horses and millions a miles. I remember him stoppin and talkin' one night to a bunch of us hangin' around. Somebody asked him why he did, what he did. He just sarted talkin' real casual about growin' up with horses, horses he'd known, Hondo, the horse he knew he'd never break, meetin' Tom and considerin' there might be another way a doin' things; more like lovin', less like fightin'. By the time he finished, we'd all quit whatever we were doin', hangin' saddles, pickin' up and we all just stood there, Ray sittin' on a horse he'd been playin' with, quiet now, starin' at his hands stacked on the saddle horn, all of us caught in some kinda other worldly moment. I remember the first time I felt an earthquake, out in California. The center of it was pretty far off, inland, so we just got a taste; nothin' violent. But I sure remember the feelin'; all of a sudden, everything I ever considered solid had, for a few seconds, just turned liquid, like a wave passin' 'neath my feet and I knew, I'd never be quite the same.
So, I spent about a year up there, first with my friend Ben, then some months with another friend of his, Ray and Tom, a wonderful horseman named Clay Wright, lived in central Utah. Got ta meet a few others, 'd known Tom pretty well, get another take on the same kinda deep appreciation of a horse and what it means ta be together.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Nice and cool this mornin'. Tried the truck last night; no leaks. Didn't even put the fuel pump back on, just patched the line, took it off, see if it runs without. It was an extra, for starters; I think it was a hot rodder, owned the truck 'fore it came to the ranch. But, these days, 45 miles an hour, once a week to the tradin' post, I think the internal pump, come standard, s'likely, good enough.
Hauled a tank a water out ta the wild bunch; first year I remember, everyone of our dirt tanks, is just a dusty bowl. Got ta visit, give each one a good scratch with the curry. Funny year for bugs, too. Tiny little fly, I don't remember much, the only kid on the block. But, tiny as they are, they must be all teeth and sting; even the horses got big ol' welts.
So, I hope y'all got ta see Dave Saunders, singin' "Rusty, the three legged horse". And, just in case ya think it couldn't be, horses, angels and all, I'll tell ya a story that happened ta me.
I guess you could say I had a troubled youth. My family broke apart and I wasn't too comfortable when my mom re-married. My dad had died and the horses I grew up with got sold off. I left pretty young and got into 'bout every kinda trouble you can think of. Well, I'd started out in the northwoods, not too far from Canada and wound up in California; finally pickin' up some construction work, get by. I got ta know some a the fellas on the job and word a mouth, found a room for rent, in a house outside L.A., near the beach. An elder East Indian gentleman lived there and we got ta be friends. Sometimes, I figure, he became my foster dad, though I could only wish I'd ever had a dad like that. Simple, deep and kind, like a great lazy river, he gave me a sense of home and love I'd never known. We both knew, day would come, when I'd be gentled, quenched and nourished by that water and grass he brought to that valley and when the time approached, he'd always tell me, "when you find yer place and get settled, I'll come and visit".
Well, I went and drove trucks, long haul, for some 6, or 7years, more time alone, digestin', tryin' make sense a things, but we always kept in touch. I was drivin' for a company out a Missoula, haulin' lumber out a California, back East and aluminum, from the East, back. Whenever I got pretty close to L.A., I'd park the truck out in the desert and take a bus into town and we'd visit. He loved ta cook and he'd make me a huge meal, fiery hot, make me wash it down with cold brandy. I'd sleep for a couple a days, then head back to the truck and the road. Finally, I started feelin' this prayer dawnin' like a flower deep inside; prayer for a bridge, 'tween the love I'd found and the life I had ta lead. I started dreamin' 'bout horses, again.
And, that's a lot for today, how 'bout I pick it up tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Best,
P.S. Case ya didn't find that song, I'll post the link again:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=vlOKVcWZXKY
jeune