Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Well, ya might be happy ta know, old ray, charles, is singin' again. We had an extended consultation, interspersed with some trimmin' here and some shavin' there, a good back rub and agreement that we'd visit again soon, discuss progress. The main topic, was whether his foot had been so bad for so long, that tryin' to straighten it up was causin' more problems than solvin'; he was recently adopted by my friend, Sonja, and the previous owner hadn't, or couldn't , keep him trimmed up. The first time we trimmed him, last year, we finally put a soft rope on one foot, wrapped it over his back, around his chest and back up over his back and waited for him to consider lyin' down, as he was of no mind, let us play with his feet. Yesterday, by contrast, we just visited, talked, no ropes of any kind, and examined each foot at a time, with back rubs, sniffin' and eyeful tradin', in between; such an inspiration he is. And this, a "stupid" old burro, accordin' to most folks.
Makes ya wonder about us human's and exactly what we consider "intelligent"; how many thousands of years and we still think war makes sense? As old Tom used ta say, the father of thoughtful horsemanship in recent times, "Insanity is doin' the same thing over and over and expectin' different results."
Have a great day!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Well, blowin' again and none too warm and I suppose, I'm rememberin' that old Greek fella came up with that simple little line, how ya can't step in the same river twice. These days, maybe, special, the weather as un predictable as it's been; fires, floods and tornadoes, what I hear on the news.
Then, I suppose, there's my horse mentor, old Ray Hunt, talkin' about caution toward "rules" and workin' with horses; encouragin' the more spontaneous consideration of "the day, the horse and the rider".
I remember hearin', recent how the key, it seems, to the survival of some of the older indigineous cultures was their adaptability. Funny, too, how they tended to be kinda respectful of the creator and the creatures around them; their sense that they had to embrace the whole family, listen and respect all the parts, that might inform and sustain them.
So, maybe, even weather, as "inconvenient" as it can be, is a gift, remind us of our proportion and discourage our tendancy for "tunnel vision".
Gotta go see a burro, "ray charles", he got a sore foot.
Have a great day!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wow, the world is such an amazin' place, even for an old cowboy, outback New Mexico. Even out here, 100 miles from anywhere, I get radio and hear news from around the world. So, many dedicated and creative people walk through my tent on a mornin'. And this mornin', also the wind, speakin' of dedicated and creative "people", with long careers; there's one to dwarf any human giant.
So, I guess I'm pretty lucky; though I get to catch a little pop culture, I'm mostly surrounded by the "classics". Wind and sky, grass and trees, rock and rain, each havin' perfected their art and craft over millions of years. And, in my short career, listen to the best and, hopefully, be touched and transformed by their music.
And just maybe, find their inspiration within myself; afterall, no matter how distant, cousins. And for that, I might consider myself newly, kindly. Hopefully!
Have a Great Day!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Yes, it is and yes, I tried this mornin', but there was just too much ta say and too little time ta say it. And, yes I ended up in a tangle, gave up and figured I tried chores, instead.
It all started, as I was feelin' so inspired, by recent events and simultaneous, my old "hoss", body, was complainin', pretty fair about a big old horse I trimmed, yesterday. So, I was thinkin' how funny it is that here I am, pretty near sixty, feelin' all this inspiration and doin' anything, gets to be a really good question.
So, only thing I can figure, is the comparison to feedin' a kid, or workin' a horse for that matter. When a young horse has a problem with somethin' and no matter what ya try, the answer is "no". Sometimes, you can get him in a "yes" mood, with a bunch a little things he likes. So, ya get 'em goin' with the "yesses", then ya ease over to the "no" thing, real casual, and he's so used ta "yes", that he figures, "what the heck, sure."
Same way, I figure, I'll keeper goin' with the little "yesses", and slip in a "no way" now and then, for I go back to some more little "yesses". Shoot, I'll be alright for another 60 and, we'll put some a that inspiration ta work.
Have a great day!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Bee you tea full day, here, land of enchantment. The wind is still decidin' if it wants ta blow, or no and the birds are chirpin' in the trees. All kinda excitin' feed back and progress on the book and co-incidentally, heard from a young woman, daughter of dear friend.
Kinda hard to fathom, the kindness, springin' up with the grass and the flowers, this spring. Even got out and trimmed some of the wild bunch last night; includin' the youngest, Graceful. Haven't had much opportunity work her any and she was mildly puzzled, but, by and large, she just watched and stood there, givin' me one foot after the other, as I worked my way around the corners; her first "pedicure".
But, I might have ta keep it short, this mornin'; there's a neighbor with an old horse, also needs his toes trimmed. (The horse, not the neighbor.) I told him I'd be around early this week and now, here it is Friday. But, weather last week and a flat on Wednesday, all kinda set me back.
So, words of wisdom? How about "don't squat by the fire, 'till ya take yer spurs off." New jeans ain't cheap, anymore and ya might get more behind than ya were before.
Have a great day!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Well, made a little progress on the book; should have our samples on the way, here directly. Worked a pony, fixed some fence and checked my dirt tanks; lookin' at the up side, ignorin' the flat I got, hopin' to trim a neighbors horse and maybe pay a bill.
The backs still, kinda, sorta, but mostly just, some cranky first thing, figurin' how to get outta the sack.
Otherwise, still, just, prayin' for traction, keep 'er goin'; a little progress on the outside, a lot of feelin' on the inside. I think it was Mr. Twain, said, "I always seek to be well regarded, by dogs and children.". For myself I'd have to add a horse, a course. But, what a kind and merciful mirror, as it keeps remindin' me, "ya, a little progress, is good, but do remember the "feel", 'cause it does keep things sensible."
And, some familiarity with old Samuel's stuff, seems he sure had an eye for the sensible, much like the horse. How about a slightly sarcastic one from W.C. Fields, sure to shake the soil, just a tad from a chuckle, over Mr. Clemmons plot, "horse sense is what keeps horses from bettin' on people."
This mornin', wakin', I was thinkin' how difficult it must be for a horse, seein', so clearly, the sensible, and havin' to put up with human beings, so seldom in the neighborhood. And, ta think your whole life is like ta be the same. I suppose kids are often faced with the same dilemma; I mean, think of that child, "the Emperor's New Clothes", knowin', in reality, his momma, probably, clamped her hand over his mouth and hustled him off home.
So, though we make our plans, I consider it really good advice, stop every now and then, check out the critters and the children, see if they approve. And, a course we can double check, our very own heart.
Have a Great Day!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Well, never did really get my rockets firin' yesterday; got my chores done and a little fencin', but 'tween phone calls, a cold gusty blast from the northwest and my overall uncertain conviction, the day was more fizzle than fire.
But, afterall, much as we pretend, we aren't machines, but human and I did try to keep my "heart fire" burnin' even if the body was less inspired. And, it's a brand new day; the wind has backed off, mostly and the sun is shinin'.
And, ya know, it's kinda amazin' out west, 'cause "dimension" becomes a really good question; distance, miles of fence, numbers of critters and maybe just one of yourself. There's that old comical expression about not gettin' somethin' to work, 'cause "ya weren't holdin' yer mouth right". Well, out here, things as large as they can be, ya gotta "hold yer attitude right" or, it gets way to easy, just give up.
Just this mornin', wakin' up, there was a noise I could hear and I was askin' myself, "is that a little noise, close by, or a big noise, off yonder?". Same way, sometimes ridin' through the bad lands, the clay hills, ya gotta ask yourself, "is that a little hill, close up, or a big hill off yonder?". And, it all matters, 'cause there's usually a job or a critter in the balance and yer the only point of reference. But, either way, ya gotta keep yer attitude steady, best ya can; weighin' daylight, endurance and resources, against the notion of tomorrow. It's a very real kinda balancin' act and for it, equally beautiful. But, probably not for everyone.
Anyway, speakin' of daylight and resources, I best quit runnin' my mouth and get after it.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Ya know, a friend of mine, I often refer to, Christopher, a childhood chum from the Northwoods, often reminds me how the creator compensates; especially, as we get older. Maybe, we are missin' some inventory, we mighta had when we were younger, but, if we look carefully, we might find some less tangible items, we never had or never noticed. And, they might turn out to be extremely valuable.
This mornin', per usual, wakin' up, I thought to sit up and "do my quiet time"; take stock. Well, I had pushed the envelope a little yesterday, with the fencin' and the ponies and all; it was an unbelievably beautiful day. So, though I full well, intended to sit up, flat seemed to be the best I could muster. It was kinda funny. And, I found myself thinkin', "well, ya, years past, I mighta been more like a tree; strong and tall, sorta. And now, I'm more like grass; my profile, times, ain't quite so large, but, like the grass, I am still reachin' for the sun. And, I just might appreciate that warmth and all it does for me, like never before."
And, that's cool.
Have a great day!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Well, spring cleanin'. Took apart the winter weatherin' and give the tent a good sweep; yes, I do have a floor, thanks to the old homestead out yonder. I come up with some old milled planks; just enough to fill in the 12x14. Quite civilized and it keeps old Stinky, my sheepish cowdog, from burrowin' in, winter time, when it's gets dark so early, and keeps me from killin' myself, when I can't see and step into one of the craters. Even give the cowboy a scrub and some clean cloths, though I think it'll take two or three more, 'fore the wood smoke gives up and let's go.
Otherwise, still ringin' from my "gospel" sunday and the un-anti cipated reminder that joy works, no matter, the road we choose. Especially, for youngsters; sure seems like they have a natural instinct that life was meant to be great. No wonder, they get put off, when the old folks start "preachin'", doom and gloom, sufferin' and hardship. Not that you can completely endorse or dismiss either argument, but as usual, I suspect, that somewhere in the middle there's a beautiful truth.
Always reminds me of that great story from Greece, way back. This one Soldier, Odyseus, was tryin' to get home after the war, I think. His ship was gettin' blown into these cliffs, by a storm that come up. He couldn't go forward. He couldn't go back. And for some reason, right and left wouldn't work either. All he could do was wait and watch. Well, turned out, the cliffs were not a solid face; actually it was two cliffs, one slightly in front of the other, and overlappin' just enough, to where it appeared solid. There was a way!
And, I suppose, that reminds me, again of that quiet, I was talkin' about yesterday. The reasons and the words, tend to go right and left. The quiet to me is like that way he found; the possibility we could never imagine, neither right nor left. And, yet, somethin' opens, we go forward and life continues. And I do suspect, that was a very happy surprise.
So, ya, like the old fella I am, I know that spring cleanin' is important and it kinda looks like work, but God help me, I don't forget, how good it is to be alive, less I alienate that youngster I will always be.
Have a great day!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Well, it's Sunday and quiet. Gotta admit, I got up a little late and rushed out to feed the mustang boys, who weren't entirely sure, if I gave them enough feed last night. So, maybe there's somethin' to it; after six days, yer apt to need a breather. Anyway, I sure do appreciate the quiet that sets in, out here in the oil fields, when this day comes around.
Maybe, it's like a gift; for the other six, when I try to take the quiet with me, through the thick and the thin, there's one, when the quiet comes for me. But, one way or the other, I sure do love it; it's so peaceful.
Sunday, on public radio, here local, they play gospel music. I got listenin' to the Edwin Hawkings Singers, and "oh, happy day!". It talks about washin' sins away. When I finally, turned it off and felt that quiet, it seemed like that; an embrace and a meltin'.
I'm told "sin" in latin, just means without. Makes sense to me; when I get all tangled up with myself and events, worried, I kinda start feelin' isolated. When I get with the quiet, there is some kinda meltin' takes place and I feel more connected, or, "with".
All part of my love for the horses, I suppose. When were workin' together and the words go away, there is a beautiful quiet sets in and were just together; acting and reacting, tradin' "data" , motion and intent. Both and all, bigger than we were and safe, well, in that larger self; the one that includes all of us, in itself, in it's own quiet way.
Have a great day.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Well, the sun is shinin'; must a broke up last night and the temperature dropped, as I can see little pockets of frost, here and there clingin' to the grass.
The wild bunch come in yesterday afternoon; didn't seem like they had feed on their mind. Sometimes I think they just like to check up, keep in touch with events around the barn; me, the mustang boys, get a drink of clear water, check on the local grass, start another loop. I suppose, like most "business people", information is always the key to success.
I remember the last time they came in, there were some scraps of hay here and there and most figured they could clean up a bit, but Tubby, the first lieutenant, he kept wonderin' off toward the trees; lookin'. I went out, see what he was up to and went to rub his ears a bit. He shook his head and walked off again; lookin'. Then I got it. "I'll bet a bear come by and they high tailed it up here, for company and haven. No wonder he ain't in the mood for an ear rub; it's his job make sure that bear didn't come too. Sorry, Tub.".
Ain't it funny; to you I may be "the cowboy from the outback". To them, I might as well be a "city slicker"; all too often, missin' the point. But, ya wanta hang with "the bunch", ya gotta be willin', look kinda dumb, sometimes. And, I gotta say, "small price to pay!"; theirs is an ancient civilization of trees and grasses, days and nights, neighbors of all stripes, weather and breezes and scents on the wind. I guess, I'd rather be a dummy in that world, than a "genius" in ours; it's just my inclination and respect for things that quietly last.
Have a great day!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Well, thank your lucky stars there's no audio on this blog, 'cause the only thing I can think this mornin' would be to sing a song. I guess it's one of those things, where life can be so wonderful and so strange, at the same time, there's nothin' you can do but, make a "joyful noise".
As I been reportin', past three or four days now, it's been rainin', snowin' or blowin', pretty much, steady. I finally give up figurin' what to put on for my best chance of "weatherin'" the storm, yesterday, went for my oilskin coat and headed out; shore up a fence line I been worried about. Lord have mercy, it was a sight; kinda misty, with all the moisture and every shade a green, god ever imagined.
Lately, feelin' my age some, I been leanin' a little toward the "I don't know" side a things; "ya, that'd be great, but I'm too old and never had the discipline!". But, yesterday, just seein' all that green and breathin' that fresh damp air, alternately full of rain, or snow, or miles per hour, I just couldn't help but feel the, "ya, but maybe" kinda sneakin' up on me.
And, I suppose, that's the dilemma; on one hand yer gettin' old, on the other yer more vulnerable to the beauty than ever before. So, what's it gonna be; old or inspired? And, if ya happen to consider there was a. creator, that'd be one, dandy, sense a humor. It simply don't make no sense! So, what can ya do?
Maybe, sing a song and pick up a foot; how ya gonna argue with all them plants and trees and grasses and weeds, just headin' for the sun, not a doubt in the world. I can just see myself, explainin' to the grass, how it's never gonna work; "what are you doin', don't you understand?".
Have a great day!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Well, water looks like the topic of the day. And, a course, this bein' New Mexico, that means "mud". But, most always, there's an up and a down, so no sense complainin' about a little mud, when the water means so much.
Just read an article about animal rescues back east and the tough times they're facin', not to mention the animals. And, god bless the messenger; there was a line in the story, how kids and critters always pay the high price in tough times. 'Cause, us human's might get off on how smart and advanced we are, but until and unless, we learn to take care of the "whole family", that "smart and advanced" stuff, just don't work, for me.
And, it's just a question of priorities, seems to me; somethin' inside ourselves needs to line up proper; human? We can "spin" it like the politicians, any which way, but, like the kid, in "The Emperor's New Clothes", god bless the child, keeps remindin' us, "no, this is flat embarrassin'!".
And, I don't believe it's about bein' "good" in the typical sense of things, but, end of the day, it might just be about how we see ourselves. Could be, there are important parts of ourself, that we write off, as not worthy of concern and in the process, sentence our very own self to a kind of "solitary" confinement. And, that don't strike me, neither smart, nor advanced; more like "sorry".
So, there's rain, there's mud and there's us. Out here, end of the day, it can be hard figurin' where what begins and whatever, ends; everything kinda looks like mud. Only difference, I suppose, some of it moves, some of it don't. But it all plays a part.
P.S. I'm told, "human" comes from the greeks and means "god in man". That would be the lovin' stuff, no? Reminds me about workin' with horses and how some folks, kinda justify violence, sayin', "well, I'm just treatin' him like another horse would!". It always begs a question in my mind; "ya, but that other horse don't necessarily wanta ride him and, ya know, enjoy the "together" stuff." So, maybe that's a part of it, too; askin' ourselves, "ya, where do I want to end up?". Don't know if this is a quote or not, but, "if ya don't know where yer goin', any road'll do.".
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Well, it's blowin' again. Comin' up on two month, or six weeks and countin', anyway. There are days when it's not really blowin', but it's still movin' and ya know it ain't done; almost as if all the air is just pausin', size up the situation, see what else it wants to do 'fore it let's summer go to work. It is a "wonder full" process, ' cause ya know all the elements are doin' exactly what they have to, or what they're supposed to, all things considered, and somehow there's a story in it for us. I mean, think of all the characters; sun, moon, earth, motion and orbits, oceans and temperatures, seasons of the north, seasons of the south, the freezin' on one hand, the growin' on the other, the water talkin' to the sun, gettin' up and movin' with the air, or fallin' on the earth. Unbelievable! Then, a course there's us drivin' around in our "auto mobiles", stinkin' it up, pretendin' none of that matters, "'cause we have all-wheel drive and power windows!" sometimes fact, sometimes fancy.
Personally, I'd rather listen to the wind; instinctively, some part of me knows this is good story, and that's a gift I should not take lightly, even, if I gotta let go, some of my sand bags, to get with it. I could say, "ya, but, grampa, every year, it's the same story!". Seems to me, grampa might say, "ya, 'cause some stories are so full of wisdom and we can be so full of ourselves, it can take a lifetime, even begin, to understand."
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Well, kinda cloudy. Looks like we could get some "well come" moisture. Middle of May and it feels a lot like summer. Saw my first snake of the year crossin' the dirt road down by the wash. Time to shake out the tent, see if the mice might not find a "summer place" else where; took me a while but the math is simple. Tent + mice = snakes + human ; not my favorite situation.
And, did you know, the old "bull" snake, which looks just enough like a "rattle" snake, at first glance, not really, but it's one of those "error on the side of caution" things, will actually coil like a "rattle" snake, make a sound with it's mouth that "could" be a rattle, and re-shape it's face to look like a "rattle" snake. And, I guess, I'll just leave that right there, 'cause it's just too amazin'.
Anyway, I was thinkin' to give up this "blog" thing, 'cause I got too much to do, what with fences and ponies and cows and tryin' to make a buck somewhere, but I gotta say, "it might be too much fun!". But, here's the deal. Sometimes, writin' everyday, I try too hard and, either, it stinks or I spend all day tryin' to make it smell better. And, I can't keep doin' that. So, I guess it's like bein' married, sorta. (God help me!)
I'll keep writin' if you'll bear in mind, that I can't and ain't gonna, be "spot on" everyday, nor spend all my daylight, fixin' my make-up. (Not that you ever expected I would.). 'Cause I sure do enjoy sayin' "Good Mornin'", but I got ponies need lovin' and fence needs fixin' and somehow, try to set-up some kind of sanctuary for these critters, 'fore I kick the bucket. (And we are startin' from scratch.).
But, end of the day, it's a lovin' deal. And, there is a bunch here. And, I sure enjoy sharin' it with ya. And, it only seems to make more of it. Sometimes just sharin' my co-nun-drums with ya, helps me see 'em better and spot that "weak link". And, I love ya for listenin'.
So, Thanks, God Bless and Good Mornin'.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Well, another day, another dollar? It's not hard to imagine how somebody might choose such a mission; it is afterall a simple way of lookin' at things. And, I suppose, it's only natural, look for some kinda scale, where ya can say, "yup, I made progress!". But, seems to me, even if ya turn on the news for a few minutes, even the "simplest", "tried and true", "old buckets", like that, just don't hold water, quite so certainly, as they used to; that dollar could turn out to be, just another piece of paper. It'd also be pretty easy, consider, how this is a terrible turn of events. But, it might not be all bad, if it really made us ask some questions about "what does hold true?".
Personally, I had one of those "nightmare" nights, full of suspicious dreams, where ya can't do what ya wanta do, 'cause someone else has an agenda and they're pullin' strings, behind the scenes, and all your aspirations end up compromised. Leaves ya in a very uncomfortable place. Then I have to consider "the mirror" and how it could all be, just a reflection of my very own self; what's that great line? "We have found the enemy and the enemy is us!".
So, what can I do, but, resolve, pray, inside my self, for "traction"; contact with the "real road" and push. I gotta trust that I do have the tools I need, to go forward; those things I truly care about, that's no accident. These are the gifts given to me, help me find my way home. But, the traction and push, maybe that's the function of heart and only as it approaches "whole", do I really get to know them. I wonder if "wholeheart" wasn't the "whole point", all along. Ya know, "if it ain't whole it's half; means ya got half goin' one way and half goin' another." I'm bound to feel compromised. What if the very one who gave me my heart, set it up, so that, sooner or later, I'd have to use it, the whole thing, 'cause that'd be the only way I ever understood what a gift I had.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Ya know, in my fantastically, naïve efforts, keep on, keepin' on, I wrote a kids book about my life out here, New Mexico Outback, with my wild and rescue horses. When I got done, I had a sense that I had understood somethin' and that there was more I wanted to say. I tried and tried to figure where to put it, but clearly it didn't fit and I kinda come to the conclusion, I might just have to boil it down, put it on the back cover and figure on another book at some point. So, here it is:
This is the gift of a life; to know and remember, trust what's good. Not some big idea, but the flavor. This is the gift of a heart; a place where we know and savor the flavor.
Don't know why, but I remember this time, a couple a years ago, when my youngest rescue, a filly named Graceful, tore her foot open. It was bad. Try as I might, I still find pockets of old tangled barb wire, here and there, that I still need to clean up and, seems, Graceful had found one 'fore I did. And, she had tore open the canopy of her foot, back to front.
I had called a friend of mine, a very sympathetic vet from up in Colorado, askin' for advice. He wasn't optimistic and the discussion turned to questions of puttin' her down; me not havin' the budget for long hauls to a vet and extended in patient care. Anyway, this was a troublin' turn of events, with few options I liked.
I thought and thought. Finally, only thing I could figure was to ask the horse.
I went out and found the bunch she run with and went to visit, figurin' she was plenty smart enough to understand the question. She always had a particular way about her, peaceful serene and wise. Anyway, she just looked at me, more concerned about my concern than her foot; kinda like, "what's your problem, I cut my foot, so?". Well, it seemed to me she had absolutely no intention of lettin' a little thing like that, slow her down, one bit, let alone stop her.
So, once a day, no money for medication or antibiotics, and knowin' a bandage would last about five minutes, I hauled a bucket a water out to the pasture and flooded the cavern exposed by the tear. About a week later, I got a package of antibiotics in the mail with a note: "No bill. Good Luck." Then another friend of mine out of the blue, give me a box of old medications, he said he didn't need anymore; among the items, a good strong antibacterial cream, water soluble, that'd melt right down into such a wound.
Well, a picture's worth a thousand words as they say, and Graceful never skipped a beat.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Another Mornin'. Simple as that, but these days that just strikes me unbelievable. Ya know, gettin' older, maybe things go wrong, the simplest thing; your back goes south, all of a sudden yer' down for three or four days and truthfully, you can't be too sure it's comin' back . (No pun intended.)
I was talkin' with a friend last night, about some of our friends that passed away, and how amazin' it is, that one minute we're here, next minute we're gone and life goes on. To me, this is, truly and simply amazin'! And, it just made me think about this little weblog I started.
Anyway, whether or not, any of this is good for anyone else, I consider it a gift for myself. A chance to invite somethin' larger into my life. And, it does strike me as a kind of guerilla warfare. There's a part of me, keeps wantin' to isolate myself from the "whole of things", make sure I acheive my little objectives. And, another part, seems to know, that that's a lonely path, with a ton of questions and very few good answers. And that part, the larger part, keeps blowin' up the bridges, that tie my little schemes together, hopin' I might just stop and look at the larger picture.
It's not that "my little schemes" don't have a place, but, for wisdom, mercy and kindness, somethin' just don't want me, get lost in 'em, 'cause it's that bigger picture, only makes real sense of our comin' and goin'. And, it's that sense of things, that really allows us to enjoy our time here and appreciate the gift it is.
Some years back, I drove long haul trucks for a while, try to pay off some debt. I drove flatbed up north, haulin' lumber out a California, back east and steel or aluminum, back east out west. While most of the time I listened to tapes of my heart teacher, for inspiration and tranquility, sometimes I'd stop at the Crow Reservation, there in Montana and get some native drum tapes.
I liked 'em, ' cause they were like voices from another place and time and I listened intently. Maybe another place, maybe another time, maybe words I didn't know, but human beings, tryin' to say somethin' about life.
And, maybe it's just me, but it seems that, sometimes, the more challengin' the situation, the more authentic the voice that rises from it. And, even apart from the cultural collisions, just livin', especially up north, back 100, 200, 300 years, seems to me, there had to be a challenge or two.
And, I did love listenin'. Sometimes I'd look out the window at the world I was crossin' and try to imagine what it mighta looked like, before roads and cars, fences and telephone wires.
But, I guess the thing I heard most clearly, was the life; it's determination, amazement and gratitude. And maybe, one other thing; a sense that if a people wanted to live, they couldn't get too friendly with reason.
Nowadays, we reason everything.
Imagine, endin' up in North Dakota, heck South Dakota and we'll go easy, let's say it's spring, two or three hundred years ago. We'll even give ya some buckskin leggins, a shirt, some moccasins, enough jerky last two or three days but that's it; no help for 1000 miles, any which way. I could almost guarrantee, you get too reasonable, you wouldn't make it. 'Cause, reasonably speakin', it just be too hard, too cold, too hot, too dry, too far, too lonely, too strange, you name it. And, what if, you just let go and tried, thought it out and made a plan; shelter, water, fire, some way to get food. But even with your plan, ya had to admit it was just plain too tough. Finally, you've had it, can't see it, no further and you cry out, to something, for something, you don't even know. And, what if, somehow, for no explainable reason, things took a slight turn for the better. What if, for no explainable reason, you just felt, somehow, you weren't completely alone. Even if you'd never heard of a drum, ya might just make one; reach out and touch that somethin', thank that somethin', made that difference. And maybe, say a little prayer, that ya never forgot that difference and never got too reasonable.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Well, I don't know where I'm goin' but I sure like the title. Reminds me of the first time I heard about the "Kiss Principal"; keep it simple stupid, or how about "silly". That's a little softer and kids seem to like, and are drawn to softer items, 'fore we "toughen 'em up" with our curious version of wisdom. But, if ya imagine a particularly wise parent, offerin' food to a child, they might offer the child, with great enthusiasm, three or four versions of the same thing, especially, if they knew it was really good for the yougnster, but not necessarily excitin'. The child might be inclined to pick one, as much for the ridiculous enthusiam of the parent, as for the gastronomical appeal; all things bein' equal.
So, havin' tried and failed, countless times in my life, to prove that the ends justify the means, I believe, to some extent, that "reality has set in". "Nope, the end cannot be separated from the means." If harmony is what I have found and harmony is what I want to promote, than harmony is the path. Now, that's simple. And, if, in Creator's eyes, I were not "the brightest bulb on the porch", (prone to choices, while excitin', not necessarily nutricious), isn't it, just possible, He/She would keep it simple for me.
So, ya, this whole notion of some kind of sanctuary for horses and kids, it simply evolved out of my own experience that this kind of harmony has definitely been good for "this child"; hopeful, healing and happy. And, ya, I'd really like to find a way, expand it and offer it to some other youngsters. So, my path, one and the same; work with the harmony. Like the potter with the clay; roll it and fold it. Wet it and dry it. Spin it and shape it. But, whatever else I do, stick with it; feel it. It's the only sure way, end up where I started.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Well, last night, I wrote a note to a friend and I was rememberin' a line from an old book about faith, a mustard seed and a mountain. It's a simple line and in this day and age, pretty easy to discount. For starters, even isolatin' one mountain worth movin' could seem like a fools errand; there are too many and they are all connected. Some days, maybe, it seems like nothin' but mountains and even the question of where you'd move one, simply overwhelming.
I remember one of the first horses I took on, when I broke off on my own, after havin' spent a couple a years with some fine horseman, up north. I called him "Roanie"; a strawberry roan. He wasn't real tall, but he was stout! And, strawberry roan, that's another name for a "redhead". Oh, and I forgot to mention the fine roman nose he had; some say that's an indication of a particularly strong personality. Then, a course there was the rancher that dropped him off, kinda in a hurry. All he had time to say was, "he should be real gentle", as he pulled his hat down over his eyes and turned to leave, allowin' no time for eye contact or questions.
Well, bein' an optomistic sort and, full of confidence, havin' spent so much time with them fella's up north, plumb capable as they were, I took him in the round pen, get to know each other. I moved him around a little, but he was kinda distracted, so I figured I'd toss a loop on his butt, see if I could get his attention. Well, it kinda worked in reverse, 'cause he got mine; next thing I knew I was standin' in the remains of the round pen and "roanie" was headin' out across the flat like one of those rockets with wheels, they use, try and set land speed records. I considered how it might be a good idea, for him to get to know the other horses, out on pasture.
Anyway, evenin' when everybody come in for a flake of hay. Me and "roanie" had a talk about our prospects; me workin' at McDonald's and him endin' up 'tween the buns. I confessed I was kinda nervous about the whole deal, but I didn't see where we had any good choices, 'cept to try and work things out. I knew the rancher that owned him and he didn't take no losses lightly.
And, believe it or not, we did find a way. We not only got along, we plumb fell in love. He turned into such a fine horse, the owner told everybody I was a genius and THE only fella, take a young horse to. Needless to say, I didn't have to go to McDonald's. I got more work 'cause a that one horse, than one fella needed; nobody believed it wasn't me.
It turned out, young "roanie" was just scared, 'cause he didn't understand much, but he had learned he could scare folks and that had offered him some cover. So, when I just offerred him a few pointers and he realized he could make sense, well, he just got all excited about bein' together. It was miraculous. And, I do mean miraculous; just a willingness in each other, try, and stuff happened I could never explain. Mercy, magic and kindness on both of us.
So, maybe, the trick is, not to go countin' mountains, but just to figure, where ya got to go and pick up a foot; ya just never know who might help and what a difference that help might make.
Monday, May 9, 2011
So, I know I've been goin' on about this "honesty thing", and the header on this blog, has to do with horses and kids and maybe a foster home, but there is a connection; the foundation.
There's an old story about a spider gettin' caught in his own web. Similarly, the stories we cook up, everyday, to avoid conflict on one hand and maybe, make an extra buck on the other, can take us so far away from ourselves, little by little, we lose track of the whole and original "why". Further we get, from the "why", despite some gains, how often do we find that somethin's missin'? I mean, how many stories do we need of the fella, everybody thought, had everything, who jumped out the window; over!
So, what I want to do, what I want to say and where I'd like to end up, is right next to that "plain and simple why". If I keep track of the question, than I'll keep reachin' for the answer and livin' this life from the Heart. Can it be explained; I don't think so. Does it work? Try. I don't think there's an alternative; 'cause end of the day the only answer that'll really satisfy us, is the one we paid for with our own try.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
And, ya I'm still gonna beat on this "honesty" dilemma just a little more, and I'm gonna bring in an "expert" back me up just a little; Uncle Albert, Einstein.
"Anyone who has never failed, has never tried anything new."
I'm addin' this to the mix, 'cause I'm pretty sure there are folks wonderin', "Honesty? What's the big deal?". And, I sure understand the point of view. But, I also consider that we may have gotten so far away from it and come up with so many "facsimile" that what it really is, we can't even remember. And, I might add, I'm not necessarily talkin' about "the facts", a parent might demand of a child.
It reminds me more of the word, "sincere". Apparently, even in Rome, latin roots, "no wax", they had figured out how to wax apples so they looked nice; maybe better than they were. And, amazingly enough, that is exactly where I wanted to go, with "another problem"; "if I just veered off, half a degree, from what I know to be true, I'll bet I could sell this stuff!"
I'm reminded of a dear and wise friend, expressin' his conviction, never offer his loved one his second best and knowin', in my bones, "yup, that's who he is!". And same way, in my life, I aspire, like him, give you my "best/honest", even if it's just a little blog.
And you know, Uncle Albert, understood; if it's different, ya might not get it right the first time. It's like trimmin' hooves, me and the horses. I remember, startin' out and noticin', if I didn't do my best, every time, when somethin' "important" came up, and I really wanted to do my best, it wasn't very good; I'd forgot how and what that meant.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Well, here we go! I'm starin' all over, again. And, I know I got some readers are gonna' say, "oh, no!". But, hey, it's my blog and my life and, in my life, who's to say when it's honest and when it ain't; I think that'd have to be me. I was thinkin' maybe I'd have to be content with "Good Mornin'" for a while.
I went through the same process, when I was tryin' to write the book; oddly enough, part of the reason "Jeune Bailey Hall" came to be. I almost needed a whole new person, just to begin to consider what was honest. And, I suspect this likely sounds pretty weird, but there it is. And, there's a whole chunk of my life out here with the horses, my question, "how to go forward?" and my hope, maybe do somethin' for kids.
'Cause, kids and horses have somethin' very much in common, seems to me; ultimately, they can be quite timid. They don't know how things work! But pretty quick they run into the fact of violence. And, in both cases, horses and kids, them bein' sensitive creatures, you could easily imagine, how they might abandon any notion of "self", in the name of "peace", or at least "truce".
Similarly, honesty could get traded for acceptability.
After a while, even the hope of rediscovering one's own feelings could become a very remote possibility.
Imagine, for a creature of "feel", like a horse, to have been "taught" not to; could there be any greater sense of the word, "lost"? And, then, for the very ones who took away his or her "genius" to turn around and call that horse "stupid", well, that'd have to take "the cake".
More to come.